Let’s get real for a sec. Normally, I am eagerly awaiting my birthday to approach, like all year. I love birthdays. I jokingly (sort of) tell my husband since my birthday is February 28th, I get to celebrate all month. This year is different.
As the milestone of turning 30 approaches, I can't help but feel the weight of expectations I set for myself, especially in the realm of family planning. Struggling through infertility, I've carried the invisible burden of wanting to become a mom before hitting the big 3-0.
The phrase "I want to have my first kid before 30" echoes in my mind, from that very first fertility appointment. It’s been 7 long years…I think I’ve become somewhat numb to time as it passes. Can anyone relate?
This birthday just hits different, when so much is out of your control. I’ve had to lean on my faith more than ever in the last 12-18 months. I have to trust that things happen in God's time (even if the control freak in me is freaking out). I’m trying, but it's a struggle, battling the frustration of unmet expectations while trying to maintain faith in God’s plan.
I suppose there's a silver lining in the midst of the storm – I've almost made it to 30. I’ve gotten closer than ever to my husband this year, I get to live super close (like literally next door) to my family, and I’m working on a healthier and better me.
Turning 30 with unfulfilled dreams is going to suck. While life may not have followed the script I wrote for myself, I believe there's a reason for the unexpected. Something better is coming… Maybe I’ll just stay 30 forever 🥰 I heard 30 is the new 20 anyway…